“How”: A Short Poem About the Love That Came First

The first love most of us know is not romantic. It is the love of the people who raised us. Jonathan Anthony Burkett’s short poem “How” looks back at that first love and asks a painful question: after losing it, how do you ever feel that happy again?

The poem

Came in the world
Expecting the best
But instead
Ended with less
Having love like no other
That’s what I felt
In my mothers, mother nest
Tell me will there ever be another
As best as the best
For that one love, I had for another
Had fallen unexpectedly
How can I be the happiest man in the world?
And I fall after every disaster.

— Jonathan Anthony Burkett, Neglected But Undefeated (2012)

“In my mothers, mother nest”

The poem begins with a whole life story in four lines: “Came in the world / Expecting the best / But instead / Ended with less.” Then it names the one place where things were different: “Having love like no other / That’s what I felt / In my mothers, mother nest.”

A mother’s mother is a grandmother, and that line points straight to the home where Jonathan was raised. He was born in Miami at Jackson Memorial Hospital on February 1, 1987. As a baby he was sent to Westmoreland, Jamaica, to live with his grandparents, Lynn and Arnold Burkett, and he stayed with them until March 1993, when he was six. He later wrote, “I truly felt that they were my mother and father because of the love and care they gave me every day, through all the years I spent with them.”

What that early love looked like

Jonathan’s memories of that nest are specific and warm. His grandmother was always smiling and told him to be thankful for what he had and for the people who were there for him every day. His grandfather, known in the neighborhood as “Doctor,” took him everywhere, slept beside him at night so nothing would scare him, and let him sit on his lap and steer the car while he worked the pedals. Whenever Jonathan got into trouble, he could run to his grandfather. As he put it, “That was what really made my grandfather my superman.”

For his sixth birthday, his grandfather threw him a party at the crossroads on top of the hill, with a DJ, a cake and neighbors who came simply to show their love. Holding him on his lap, Doctor taught him to face problems one at a time, to be truthful and to put God first.

Love like that shaped him. Years later, Jonathan reflected that if he had stayed with his grandparents, his mother’s love would not have mattered as much, because their love was unconditional.

When the nest is gone

The second half of the poem turns: “For that one love, I had for another / Had fallen unexpectedly.” The poem does not say exactly what fell. Readers who know Jonathan’s story will remember that he was taken from Jamaica to Miami at six, into a home where he never knew a mother’s love, and that his grandfather died in November 1996 while Jonathan was still a boy. But the poem leaves the loss open, so anyone who has lost their first safe place can see themselves in it.

The last lines ask the question in the title: “How can I be the happiest man in the world? / And I fall after every disaster.” It is the voice of someone who knows what real love felt like and keeps measuring life against it. Even after his brain surgery in 2006, Jonathan compared the real love he hoped to find with his grandfather’s love for him, a love he believed would last always and forever.

How early love shapes us

The love you receive early becomes the map you use later. Here are a few ways to honor that, whether you had a nest like Jonathan’s or not:

• Name your nest. Think of the person or place where you first felt safe. A grandparent, aunt, teacher or neighbor counts.
• Thank them while you can. Call, write or visit. If they have passed, tell their story to someone younger.
• Pass the love forward. Jonathan says it this way: “Instead of treating your child like how you were treated. Treat them with the same love and attention you wanted from your parents while growing up.”
• Be someone’s nest. A child in your family or neighborhood may need a safe adult. Showing up consistently matters more than money.
• Don’t count every fall as failure. The poem admits, “I fall after every disaster.” Falling is human. Getting back up is the part you control.

The love that came first still counts

Early love does not disappear when the nest is gone. Jonathan carried his grandfather’s lessons for years, and they shaped the man he became. If you had love like that, it is still working in you. If you did not, you can still become that love for someone else.

If you know a child who is not getting the love and care they need, please speak up.

If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. In the U.S., the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453.

Read Jonathan’s full story in Neglected But Undefeated on the Books page, or learn more about him on the About page.

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