Kinship Care: When Grandparents and Relatives Step In

When a parent cannot care for a child, the people who step in are very often family: a grandmother, an aunt, an older cousin, a family friend who is like family. This is called kinship care. It keeps children connected to people who already know and love them, but it also brings real challenges for the caregivers. Here is an overview of what kinship care is and how to support the families living it.

If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. In the U.S., the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453.

What kinship care means

Kinship care is when relatives, or close family friends, raise a child whose parents cannot. Parents may be working far away, ill, struggling with addiction, incarcerated, deceased or unable to keep a child safe. In some families, especially across the Caribbean, children have long been raised by grandparents while parents work in another country.

Jonathan Anthony Burkett was one of those children. Born in Miami in 1987, he was sent as a baby to Jamaica to live with his grandparents in Westmoreland, because his mother said she was struggling in America. He lived with them, near his great-grandmother up the hill, until he was six. He writes:

“I truly felt that they were my mother and father because of the love and care they gave me every day, through all the years I spent with them.”
— Jonathan Anthony Burkett, Neglected But Undefeated

Common kinds of arrangements

Kinship care can look very different from one family to the next. The terms and rules vary by state and country, but common arrangements include:

• Informal care. Family members agree among themselves that a relative will raise the child, without a court or agency involved.
• Kinship foster care. A child welfare agency places a child with relatives after removing the child from a parent's home.
• Legal guardianship. A court gives a relative legal authority to make decisions for the child, often without ending the parents' rights.
• Adoption. A relative becomes the child's legal parent permanently.

Each option affects things like enrolling a child in school, consenting to medical care and qualifying for financial help. Because the rules differ so much, talk with a qualified family lawyer, a legal-aid office or your local child welfare agency before making decisions. This article is general information, not legal advice.

Why it can be good for children

Moving in with relatives can soften a painful change. Children in kinship care often stay connected to their culture, traditions, language, faith and extended family. They may be able to stay near siblings or in the same school. Most importantly, they are with people who already have a bond with them.

Jonathan's early years show what that bond can look like. His grandfather, Arnold Burkett, known as "Doctor," took him everywhere and let him sit on his lap and steer the car while Doctor worked the pedals. For his sixth birthday, Doctor threw him a big party at the crossroads on top of the hill, with a DJ and neighbors who came just to show their love. His grandmother, Lynn Burkett, taught him to be thankful for what he had. His great-grandmother taught him right from wrong. Those years, he writes, were some of the best times of his life.

The challenges caregivers face

Kinship caregivers often take on a child suddenly, sometimes overnight. Many are grandparents on fixed incomes or managing their own health. They may be grieving a parent's struggles while also caring for that parent's child. The child may arrive with trauma, anger or confusion that shows up as hard behavior.

Caregivers can also feel caught between the child and the parent, especially if the parent wants the child back. When Jonathan was six, the man he called his father arrived in Jamaica, unannounced to his grandparents, to take him to Miami. The years that followed were full of neglect and abuse. His grandparents' love stayed with him, and he kept the promises he had made to them, but children are safest when changes happen with care, planning and someone watching out for their well-being.

How to support a kinship family

If you are a kinship caregiver, ask about help. Depending on where you live, there may be financial assistance, health coverage for the child, support groups and kinship navigator programs that help relatives find services. Schools, family-service agencies and faith communities are good places to start asking.

If you know a kinship family, practical help means a lot. Offer rides, meals, babysitting or hand-me-down clothes. Include the child in birthday parties and outings. Ask the caregiver how they are doing, and really listen. Be patient with a child who is adjusting; behavior often reflects what they have been through.

Family that shows up

Kinship caregivers give children something priceless: a place to belong with people who share their story. If you are raising a relative's child, what you are doing matters. If you know someone who is, find one way to lighten their load this week. Read how a grandparent's love shaped one life in Neglected But Undefeated on the Books page.

#jonathananthonyburkett #upstormed #jonathanburkett #neglectedbutundefeated #kinshipcare #grandparents #neglectedchildren #fostercare #family #jamaica