17 Oct
2026
Children do not need perfect parents, big houses or the newest toys. What they need most is simpler and harder: adults who keep them safe, show up consistently and make them feel wanted. Those needs are the same whether a child lives with parents, grandparents, foster parents or other relatives.
And it is not only parents who can meet them. Teachers, coaches, neighbors, aunts, uncles and family friends all shape how a child sees themselves and the world.
Before a child can learn, play or trust, they need to feel safe. That means physical safety, a home free from violence, enough food, medical care and a place to sleep. It also means emotional safety: knowing they will not be mocked, threatened or punished for having feelings.
Safety also comes from predictability. Children feel more secure when they know what to expect: regular meals, a bedtime routine, and adults whose moods do not swing from warm to frightening without warning. Even simple routines tell a child that someone is in charge and paying attention.
A child who feels safe can be curious and take healthy risks. A child who does not often spends their energy watching for danger, which can affect school, sleep, friendships and health.
Love that a child can count on matters more than grand gestures. Being there at bedtime, asking about their day, showing up for the school play and saying "I love you" out loud all tell a child they belong.
Jonathan Anthony Burkett experienced this kind of love as a young boy, when his grandparents, Lynn and Arnold Burkett, raised him in Westmoreland, Jamaica. His grandmother was always smiling and taught him to be thankful for what he had. His grandfather took him everywhere and became his best friend. In his memoir Neglected But Undefeated (2012), Jonathan writes, "I truly felt that they were my mother and father because of the love and care they gave me every day, through all the years I spent with them."
After he was taken to Miami at six, he lived through years of abuse and neglect at home. Yet the love from those early years stayed with him and gave him reasons to keep going.
Here are the needs that show up again and again in children's lives:
No adult gets all of these right every day. What counts is the overall pattern a child lives with.
When a child's home is not meeting their needs, the other adults around them matter even more. Jonathan's memoir describes some of them: a teacher, Mrs. Vigness, who learned the truth about what was happening at his home; a friend's father who let him stay when he was put out of the house at eight; and, years later, his godmother, Marise Christophe, who cared for him like a son.
You do not have to rescue a child to make a difference. You can learn their name, ask how they are and mean it, notice when something seems wrong, and be the same kind, steady person every time they see you. For some children, that one reliable adult changes everything.
"Instead of treating your child like how you were treated. Treat them with the same love and attention you wanted from your parents while growing up."
— Jonathan Anthony Burkett
Sometimes the adults responsible for a child are the ones causing harm. Signs can include frequent injuries with odd explanations, constant hunger, poor hygiene, missing school, fear of going home, or a child who seems withdrawn or always on guard. One sign does not prove abuse, but a pattern is worth taking seriously.
You do not have to be certain to ask for help. If a child is in immediate danger, call 911. In the U.S., the Childhelp National Child Abuse Hotline is 1-800-422-4453. Counselors there can talk through what you have seen and how to report it to your local child protective services.
Think about the adults who made you feel safe and seen when you were young, or the ones you wish had been there. Then look around at the children in your life and choose one small way to show up for them this week.
To read Jonathan's full story of the grandparents who loved him and the adults who stepped in later, visit the books page.
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