“Who I Am”: A Poem About Turning Darkness Into Light

Some poems capture a single moment. Others trace a whole life. Jonathan Anthony Burkett's poem “Who I am,” from his memoir Neglected But Undefeated (2012), does both. It begins with a speaker who feels he has no purpose and ends with a man who calls himself a winner. The distance between those two places is the story of the poem, and it may be part of your story too.

The poem

Amongst darkness and light
Nearly all my life, praying
Facing trouble and pain
Waiting for a star to shine bright

Head held high
I see it standing, straight and tall
No other amongst, but myself
Feeling, no purpose in life
As others strive for success

Father,
I want to count my blessings, not my troubles
End my curiosity of love and a family
Have the answers, to the questions that upset me
Be given a chance to turn my darkness into light
Achieve greatness instead of troubled nights, like tonight
Be given a smile and not a shrug

Accomplished and successful
I wish to be
But in what, I hope to find
For nothing right now, is along the line

Unfair, I see life
From my experiences of walking through those nights
Why and what made them do this to themselves
Were they given a chance, for change
I asked myself

Conscious and determined it all has made me
A winner in life and no longer a failure
Triumphant, victorious, and achievements
I am now going for, to leave above my name
Describing in life how I’ve changed

— Jonathan Anthony Burkett, Neglected But Undefeated (2012)

Starting in the dark

The first stanza places us “Amongst darkness and light,” praying and “Waiting for a star to shine bright.” That is an honest place to begin. The speaker doesn't pretend things are fine. He has been facing trouble and pain for nearly all his life, and he is still waiting for something to change.

The second stanza is lonelier. He stands with his head held high, yet there is “No other amongst, but myself.” He feels no purpose while others strive for success. If you have ever watched people around you move forward while you stood still, you know that feeling. It isn't laziness. It is the ache of not knowing where your own road begins.

A prayer in the middle

The longest stanza is addressed to “Father,” and it reads like a list of requests from someone who has carried a lot alone. He wants to count his blessings instead of his troubles. He wants answers to the questions that upset him. He wants “Be given a smile and not a shrug” to stop being a wish and start being his life.

The center of the whole poem may be this line: “Be given a chance to turn my darkness into light.” Notice that he doesn't ask for a perfect life. He asks for a chance. That is a humble request and a powerful one, because a chance is something you can work with.

The next stanza admits he doesn't yet know what his success will be: “But in what, I hope to find.” Then the poem looks outward. He thinks about people he has seen walking through hard nights and asks whether they were ever given a chance to change. Even while he is struggling, he wonders about others who are struggling too. That kind of compassion is often the first sign that someone is starting to heal.

The turn: “no longer a failure”

The final stanza changes everything. “Conscious and determined it all has made me,” he writes, and then: “A winner in life and no longer a failure.” The same hard experiences that left him feeling purposeless are now what made him determined. Nothing in his past was erased. It was turned around and used as fuel.

The poem closes with him going for triumph and achievements to leave above his name, describing how he has changed. He doesn't claim to have arrived. He says he is now going for it. The victory is in the direction he is facing.

That turn mirrors Jonathan's own life. Before his brain surgery in January 2006, he told God that if he made it through, he wanted to change. When he woke up afterward, he told himself, “I made it through the surgery,” and then, “So now I’ll have to keep my promise and change myself.”

Write your own who-I-am lines

You don't have to call yourself a poet to try this. The shape of “Who I am” gives you a simple path from where you are to where you are going. Grab a notebook and give yourself fifteen quiet minutes.

1. Name the dark honestly. Write two or three lines about what you have been facing. Don't soften it or explain it away.
2. Write what feels missing. Purpose, love, answers, rest. Jonathan wrote about wanting to end his curiosity of love and a family.
3. Make your requests. Begin a few lines with I want or Give me a chance to. Keep them specific.
4. Look at someone else. Add one line about another person who is struggling. It keeps your poem from closing in on itself.
5. Write the turn. Finish with who you are becoming, in the present tense, even if you aren't fully there yet.

Your poem might not rhyme. It might only be six lines long. That's fine. What matters is that by the last line you have written yourself facing the light instead of the dark.

Keep the poem close

A poem like this is worth returning to. Read it on the nights that feel like the first stanza, and read your own lines on the days you need reminding which way you're headed. Neither one says the struggle is over. Both say the struggle doesn't get the last word.

“Who I am” is one of many poems in Neglected But Undefeated, where Jonathan tells the full story behind lines like these. You can find the memoir and his other books on his Books page. And if you write your own who-I-am poem, keep it somewhere you'll see it often.

#jonathananthonyburkett #upstormed #jonathanburkett #neglectedbutundefeated #poetry #whoiam #purpose #hope #selfdiscovery #writingprompt